


Bombs Away!

by breejah



Series: 'Quick Fic/Photo Prompt' Labyrinth Challenges [18]
Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Battle, Bombs, Crack, Don't Try This At Home, Gen, Goblins, Humorous Ending, Mild Cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 14:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17624123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breejah/pseuds/breejah
Summary: The result when you allow goblins to form battle plans - and give them a bomb they have no business messing with.Total crack fic, the result of a photo prompt.





	Bombs Away!

**Author's Note:**

> I...don't even know. Enjoy my inner five-year-old sense of humor.

_Photo prompt art by SilkJo._

* * *

 

“You sure this is a good idea, Mildred?!” 

“Of course it is, you big ninny!” She shouted, leading the way, her torch waving wildly - and dangerously close to the fuse on the bomb Gulg was dangling from. He gulped, his eyes wide, since being called a ninny was one of the biggest insults in the ‘Goblin Foul-Mouth Handbook.’ He wanted to call her one back but, well, it felt weird - she was a girl. What did you call mean girl goblins? He began to think of something she didn’t have that he could use to hurl at her, but decided calling her a dumb dong was probably too much. 

“We can’t let her get too close, remember? The King demands we fight!” She screeched, commanding their friend, Frezzle, to set down the bomb. Gulg wanted to scramble off, but he stopped, swallowing at Mildred’s glare. This was her bright idea - send a goblin by bomb to spy on them at the gates and see how far they were, then report back. 

Problem was, this was a big ass bomb and he was a little ass goblin. 

“So, uh, you - you really think this’ll work?” He squeaked again, biting back the urge to scream as she turned and lit the fuse. 

“Of course it will!” She grinned, stepping back with Frezzle, as Gulg stared at the two of them. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

That was the last anyone ever heard of Gulg, the bottle rocket goblin. 

But don’t worry, he didn’t die. In fact, he’ll always be remembered when a very distinctive message was carved into the Labyrinth entrance doors (that no one can seem to erase, even the Mighty Goblin King himself). It read - “Didn’t work you assholes. Fuck all you people, I quit.”


End file.
